The One Where I Have One Of Those Days

Today is a grumpy day. It's a cold, windy, gray, drizzly day. It's a if-I-don't-get-a-nap-today-I-am-going-to-rip-somebody's-head-off day.

But it's still a GOOD day. Settle in and let me tell you my story...

I set myself up for it, really. I made a pitcher of tea yesterday afternoon - fully caffeinated tea, the good stuff. We're doing a Whole30 which means no sugar or dairy (among other things) for 30 days and I just can't quite make myself drink black coffee, so tea is the elixir of life around here currently. Now, making the tea wasn't a problem - but drinking it at 4pm most certainly was. I was wide awake until well after midnight.

Then the baby, sensing my weakness, made his move. Awake and wanting to nurse all through the night, every hour on the hour. The cherry on the top of this insomnia sundae came at 7am, just before the Hubs' alarm clock went off - when he bit me. (The baby, not Hubs.) Not a gentle love bite, either - a full-on, I'm-going-to-get-my-money's-worth-out-of-these-new-teeth bite.

That's it, kid. 24-hour milk bar is currently closed for maintenance. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

Ever felt a baby's new teeth? Little razor blades in a deceptively cute, chubby-cheeked package. Prisoners should start smuggling teething children into prisons instead of files baked into banana bread. This kid could gnaw through iron bars in a matter of minutes, and then create a diversion by pooping through his diaper onto the guard's lap.

Then of course, because it was earlier than I wanted to get out of bed, EVERYBODY was wide awake and needy. I think I could handle mornings a lot better if everyone could just defer their needs until 11am or so. But no - I have to scrub the sleep out of my dry eyes and immediately start changing diapers, finding clothes, changing peed-on sheets, fixing breakfast. Times THREE. By the time I finish fixing breakfast for everyone else, the baby is ready to nurse again. So he gets Second Breakfast, then I get mine. All of this is par for the course, no big deal on a normal day - but today I have maybe 3 cumulative hours of sleep, snatched in half-hour increments. Grumble grumble.

We're running low on the things I can eat on a Whole30, but of course there is plenty of chocolate milk and cheddar cheese and all the things I want but can't have. Jack is in an argumentative mood ("Mama, I want go outside!" We can't, it's raining. "No it's NOT!" Grrrr.) and Wesley is being a pest, poking and snatching and generally being a little brother. James wants to be held, fed, or entertained. I just want a gosh-durned donut. Maybe we can go to the Y for an hour or two and somebody else can watch these monsters sweet children while I at least shower in peace. Oh wait - nope. Hubs' truck isn't running well, so he took my car to work today. I'm trapped in here, in a prison that smells like poopy diapers.

So I did what mommies always do. I took care of all the needs, yelled a little bit at the annoying behavior (I'm not perfect, after all), set up the train table in a new and ultra-cool configuration, and stuck the most sensitive portion of my body back into the little piranha's mouth.

And then I took a couple of deep breaths, prayed for patience, ate an entire can of pineapple tidbits, and started to realize that, after all, my day isn't going that badly.

I didn't have to take anyone to the Emergency Room. I didn't have to get up early and leave my sleeping babies to go to work in a factory. We are in our own warm, dry home today, not in a homeless shelter. I have hot running water, and even though I may not get a chance to shower in it right now, I have a loving husband who comes home from a paying job at lunchtime and will watch the kids so I can shower then. We have lots of fun toys, paints, coloring books, and a train table to keep the kids busy - and when all else fails, Netflix to the rescue!

I'm sure not in a position to offer parenting advice (unless it's "stop before you're drowning in babies") but when has that ever stopped me from offering unsolicited advice before? So here it is - step back and breathe. When it's getting to be TOO MUCH and the noise pollution and the smell from the trash can and the constant poking and the demands just don't stop - step back, take a deep breath, and really LOOK at what is going on. Realize that a lot of the little annoyances are possible because of the greater blessings - what a great thing to have a warm dry house to be stuck inside while it rains! And then?

Just keep on truckin', Mama.